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Grief and Mourning

Grief and Mourning

Grief is a unique experience. There are tangible and intangible losses in life. 

We all grieve differently and at different rates, but there are some commonalities in the way we deal with loss. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to mourning the death of someone you love. Grieving a loss will look different for everyone, but here are some things to keep in mind:

It’s okay to cry or get angry—or both—when you’re grieving. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak or flawed; it means you’re human. You may not know how to feel or what to do next, but that’s okay, too! It’s your process and it doesn’t have to follow any kind of script. Remember: there is no right way or wrong way to mourn. Your feelings are valid, even if they don’t make sense right now.

It’s also okay if you don’t feel anything at all when someone close dies—and it can be totally normal not to feel anything for days or even weeks after someone dies (or even longer). People grieve in different ways, so don’t compare yourself against others’ experiences; focus on your own journey instead of comparing yourself to other people who are also grieving from similar losses (or not).

The intersection of multiple identities can impact how we experience grief and mourning. For example, the loss of a loved one can be compounded by feelings of isolation and exclusion from one’s community because of social stigma. The death of a parent can be especially difficult for LGBTQ children who still may not feel accepted by their own community or the deceased parent. 

Mourning is a difficult time for anyone, but it can be especially hard for the people who love you the most. They want to help you through the process, but they might not know how.  

Here are some guidance to help you:

1- Grieve together. If you’re grieving, your loved ones will probably also be grieving. Find a way to grieve together—whether it’s through talking or crying or going out to dinner—so that everyone gets the support they need at this time.

2- Be honest about what’s going on inside yourself as you go through this process of mourning; don’t try hiding any feelings from those around you 

3- One way to find comfort and support during your mourning is by connecting with others who are going through the same thing as you. You can join a grief support group or an online grief forum where you can talk with people who have experienced what you are going through.  

4- Think about how your loved one would want you to move forward with life instead of dwelling on what has happened between now and when they passed away (or during their lifetime). This can help keep things in perspective and help prevent depression from taking over completely – which can happen if left unchecked!

5- Reach out to a therapist to process mourning and find closure. 

If you are grieving and you find this blog helpful, contact me to find out together if I can help you. 

Warmly

Mego

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About MEGO NERSES

I am an Ottawa-based Registered Psychotherapist and have a full-time private practice. In the past, I worked in social service agencies for many years. I offer individual, relationship, and sex therapy in English, Arabic, and Armenian to adults 18+, and I do not work with minors.

In 2011, I earned a master’s degree in Counselling from the University of Ottawa. I am a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario (CRPO#001132) with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. In addition, I am a Certified Counsellor with the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA#3058). My clinical training focuses on relationship and sex therapy and trauma/PTSD. Since 2013, I have been at Algonquin College as a seasonal professor, teaching courses in mental health and addiction.

I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to publish peer-reviewed articles and contribute chapters concerning Counselling, coming out, and trauma related explicitly to LGBTQ+ refugees and newcomers to Canada. I have presented numerous workshops and continue to offer trainings nationally and internationally on the mental health of LGBTQI+ and SOGIE refugees and asylum seekers.

 

Professional Work

Early in my professional career, I specialized in individual therapy and served clients with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and grief. Since then, I have taken my clinical work to a higher level and gained more experience in four areas: PTSD and Trauma, Sexuality and Gender Identity, Sex and Relationship Therapy, and Refugee mental health issues. I have received various trainings in these areas since choosing to specialize. As an example, I received training from Division 56, Trauma Psychology, Physicians for Human Rights, and the Global Institute of Forensic Research in writing immigration evaluations for immigration courts. Furthermore, I have completed multiple trainings in trauma/PTSD therapy and relationship therapy (Poly. Kink). I have participated in numerous training opportunities in the field of sex therapy, sexuality, and gender identity. 

I am a LGBTQI+/poly/kink/CNM supportive and informed therapist.

Therapeutic approaches
In addition to Narrative Exposure Therapy for PTSD (NET), I have also been trained in Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) for PTSD and Experiential Therapy and Focusing. I integrate social justice and rights-based principles into my work as a trauma-informed therapist.

Awards
In recognition of my dedication to helping LGBTQ+ refugees and asylum seekers in Canada, I received the 2017 Humanitarian Award from the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA).

AffiliationsI have an international affiliate membership with Division 56, Trauma Psychology, the American Psychological Association (APA), and the Global Institute of Forensic Research.

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